The same routine every single time.
image retrieved from:http://th01.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/008/d/a/dodrio_by_lys_antigone-d4lqrrp.png
I open wordpress. log in. stare at the new post page.
And find an excuse to close that page shut.
It’s really annoying. So much has gone on and I would really love to fill you in.
For one thing, I think I might have found a niche but I am not too certain of it.
I am not certain of what I am doing after school. Perhaps the summer will provide the answer I am searching for.
I think I want to talk about my love life now because I think I am old enough to not get too embarrassed about it.
Don’t worry I won’t mention any names. Previous disasters have taught me well. I try to stay away from discussing it because I don’t want to upset or drive anyone away. Or maybe say something that people mis-read ‘rolls eyes’.
Its funny though. The way people think they know you when in actual fact they know very little.
Since I came back to Ashtown, I find that I have gone back to square one in a lot of the hard work with relationships. People have forgotten me, people have missed me , people don’t even think I left at all. That doesn’t matter but its the people I care about romantically that pique my interest.
One person has forgotten about me completely. Another tries to act like we are best friends now when clearly I don’t want to be friends. There is another who thinks I am simply a friend so it makes me nervous to think otherwise.
Honestly, at the moment (or better yet, till the semester ends), I have put that side of things on hold. We will still discuss it tho!
That was my decision because i can never really focus on more than one thing at a time. I am sorry; I have tried but I just can’t.
If I am being tasked to do a number of things, I get panicky and end up doing all of them in a hassle.
I tried to re-kindle the fire I had with some new prospects but it ended up not happening. Mainly because competitors have swooped in like Speedy Gonzalez on cocaine. “Better luck next time, amigo! “, they would yell and run off with the ladies in their arms. Me being Samurai Jack would just mutter ” I must continue my quest” and wander off like the journeyman I am.
That is ok. I think a lot of these things take time, patience and dedication. Like building a football team. Ok, ok I know that’s another football reference. Bear with me on this one.
Arsenal–my team–are a good example of core beliefs and traditions. My manager does this by building his teams with a core of youth players in every period. Since I started watching Arsenal, I have seen two. One being the core of Fabregas & Van persie; the other with the core of Gibbs, Jenkinson(even though he is on loan),Wilshere,chamberlain & ramsey.
(left to right)Fabregas &Van Persie
(left to right)Jenko,Ramsey, Wilshere,Gibbs &Ox
(standing behind) Arsene Wenger
As yet, the second core hasn’t really lived up to the potential the first did but I think that is the same principle that has to be taken in my life. I have one belief: hard work and persistence will provide rewards in the long run. Short term acquisitions (like the flings I had last year) bear no real fruit / meaning to your being. Look at Rademel Falcao at Manchester United nicknamed “El Tigre”(funny I see no bite). He was supposed to, in the short term, make an immediate impact to Manchester United’s title ambitions. Sadly, injuries and lack of form affected his confidence and performances on the pitch. At the moment, he has a measly 4 goals and 3 assists in 16 appearances. It was just like that girl I met last year. It was fun and comforting but so wrong in a number of ways.
Trust me when I say this decision hasn’t been easy. Oh yeah and I stopped drinking.
“Wait ,Wha??! You stopped drinking?!?, Is everything ok? Are you alright?!”
Yes, guy-that-appeared-in-my-blog-post-for-no-apparent-reason. Everything is fine.
I just think its healthier not to.
I have missed you blog. We should talk more.
Arsenal images retrieved from:http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/columnists/2010/4/8/1270736934550/Robin-van-Persie-and-Cesc-001.jpg